Engagement Rings: Resetting an Heirloom Stone

Heirloom stones or engagement rings passed down through the family are perhaps the most meaningful for an engagement ring, linking you to the generations of giddy brides-to-be who preceded you. That said, what if you like the stone but hate the setting? Perhaps it doesn't reflect your personality, is completely impractical for your lifestyle, or is just plain unattractive. Tread carefully: Before you reset, consider the following to keep the stone -- and the spirit in which it was given to you -- intact for the next generation.

Resetting Etiquette

Being offered an heirloom stone can be tricky territory. On one hand, it's a sign of family acceptance and trust, plus it saves your future fiance a lot of money! On the other hand, perhaps you've had a vision of your dream engagement ring since grade school, and it looked nothing like what's been offered. Two options: Accept it graciously and scrap those childhood fantasies, or reset the stone to make it your own.

Tread Carefully

Before you head down to the jewelry store, consider this cautionary tale: When Julie, a magazine editor, discovered that her fiance was proposing with his mom's engagement ring, she was thrilled -- about the stone. "It was a beautiful diamond in an ugly yellow-gold, dainty, high prong-set setting. It looked like an old lady's ring, and I've always hated yellow gold, so my fiance and I made immediate plans to reset the stone in something more me," Julie says. They chose a substantial platinum setting with two trilliant-shaped stones flanking the now low prong-set family diamond. Everyone thought it was beautiful, except Julie's future mother-in-law. "We didn't think to tell her our plans because we assumed that the stone was the important part, not the ring, but she felt that our rejection of the setting was at best rude, and at worst a rejection of her."