Timing the Toasts

At large or formal evening weddings, the toasts usually take place just after dinner, when guests are still seated and before the cake cutting ceremony. For less formal and afternoon weddings, or outdoor weddings, the toasts are usually offered after the couple's first dance as husband and wife or at the end of the hors d'oeuvres period, before the cake is cut. Regardless of the timing of the toasts and the size of your reception, it's important to make sure that the caterers, servers, or hosts have poured champagne or another drink for all the guests before toasting begins. Some people believe it's bad luck to toast with an empty glass.

Arranging the toasts at informal or small wedding demands attention to a few extra details. The key issue is to make sure that all the guests are gathered together so that all can be part of the toasting. You'll need to decide whether you want guests to stand or sit, which depends on the timing of the toast and the events at the reception. If there's no head table, the toaster needs to find a place where all the guests can hear the toasts easily. For example, at a small wedding with 14 guests held at the bride's parents' house, the sister of the bride might make a toast from the fireplace hearth, elevating herself just enough to let people know that she plans to speak and insuring that all the guests can see and hear her. The toasters or the person planning the reception should checkout the venue in advance to determine the best place for gathering guests for toasts.

The Length of Toasts

Everyone over 30 remembers a wedding toast gone wrong: one that was too long, was too dull, or went on and on. A toast shouldn't run longer than 2-3 minutes. That amount of time allows you to graciously introduce yourself; say a few personal words, often incorporating a funny anecdote, clever saying, or witty quotation; and conclude with a request to the other guests to join you by raising your glasses and drinking to the health and happiness of the newly married couple.


Excerpted from To the Happy Couple: Creating a Great Wedding Toast with Style by Sarah McElwain Illustrations by Diana Marye © 2006 Chronicle Books