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  • They are well-known.
  • They have a career.
  • They marry late in life and are too well-known by their own name.
  • Their spouse has a long or difficult name.
  • They like their own name better.
  • They are frustrated with the male-dominated establishment.
  • They want old friends to be able to find them in the phone book without having to know who they married.



When a Woman Should Change Her Name

A woman might consider changing her name:

  • When she marries at a young age and has not yet built her career.
  • When her husband is well-known.
  • When she wants to.



On the other hand, a woman needs to make sure she's also not giving up power along with her name. As we indicated on the issue of money, both parties in a marriage need independence and an equal amount of power. Otherwise problems can result.



How a Woman's Name Affects Her Spouse

Having a spouse with a different last name is a real headache-and-a-half, the male coauthor of this book can testify. Anytime you have to call for information about your spouse, you play a guessing game about which name was used. Typically, the person on the other end of the phone is checking records on the computer. It takes an extra five minutes to get things straightened out or get the information you need.

There is only one real solution to the problem. Pick out one name and use it for everything. Either use your own name, a hyphenated name, or take your husband's name. It really doesn't matter. Otherwise, it's a totally aggravating mess.

Gail: So Al, why did you pressure me to change my name in the first place?
Al: You've been bugging me about this ever since we wrote this chapter. Before we got married I had a lot of friends whose wives either kept their maiden name or used a hyphenated name. They were about as happy as you will ever see people that have been married for more than ten years. So in my mind, it really didn't matter. But then when we got married I got confused. I wanted you to be part of me. I wanted to get as close to you as I could get. I wanted us to merge. I just felt closer to you when I said Gail Lavine-you were now part of me. Nevertheless, it really doesn't matter if you go by Gail Smith-Jones. I love you just as much.

Changing a Name There is nothing magic about changing your name. The general rule, the American Bar Association reports, is that as long as a woman uses a certain name consistently and honestly, that's her name.

Notify all government agencies and private agencies that have records of your name of the change. You'll particularly want to be certain you notify the Internal Revenue Service, Social Security Administration, U.S. Post Office, state tax departments, professional licensing agencies and societies, lenders, landlords, banks, credit card companies, phone companies, utility companies, newspapers, doctors and dentists, and schools and colleges you attend or that your children attend.



The NOW Legal Defense and Education Fund claims that most states have formal legal procedures for changing a name. The advantage is it provides a court order and a public record and thus proves to everyone that the name change is legally binding.

Read Chapter 4 of Love, Marriage and Money entitled "Tying the Knot: Dollars and Sense."

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