You know the saying "Always a bridesmaid, never a bride." Well, in my case it should be "Always a bridesmaid... in an ill-fitting and unflattering dress."
What happens to women when they get engaged? It's as if even the most stylish women lose their sense of fashion when it comes to choosing bridesmaid dresses. Is it some type of secret conspiracy so the bride can ensure that she'll be the most beautiful woman in the room? Will she really feel better about herself if she's surrounded by friends in fuscia satin potato sacks? I'm curious to know if a study has ever been done on this.
I have been a bridesmaid nine times — count 'em, nine — and I have never felt good about myself walking down the aisle. In fact, I have usually felt like I'm in some odd ceremonial costume parade.
The other night, my girlfriends and I sat around comparing horror stories. (Please note that these were "good" friends, not "best friends"; in other words, none of us had been in the others' wedding parties.) My all-time worst moment was when I was forced by the bridezilla of the moment to wear a lavender two-piece outfit that would have been okay, except we had to wear matching "donuts." Now, for those of you lucky enough not to know what a wearable donut is, let me clarify by saying that it is neither powdered nor iced. Rather, it is an apparatus similar to a flotation device that wraps around your neck and shoulders and fastens behind your back. What had I done to this girl to deserve this? Were we planning on jumping in the ocean after the ceremony? I was convinced that one of the photographers was going to tell us we were on Candid Camera.