The groom may not have been very involved in the wedding plans, but with the wedding only a few weeks away, there are a few things he needs to do- write his vows, get the marriage license, pick-up his tuxedo and well, get groomed! The Everything Groom's Book has the last-minute checklist no groom should be without.
Preparations for the Ceremony
If only getting married were as uncomplicated as many grooms wish it were: Two people would show up at the Justice of the Peace and say, "I do." There wouldn't be much fuss beyond that. However, weddings in this day and age -- as you well know by this point -- are far more involved, and it's every groom for himself. Make sure you're not the guy who shows up at the altar in a T-shirt because you didn't check your tux bag to make sure your wing-tipped-collared shirt was in there.
The Legalities
Have you applied for the marriage license? If not, get your tail in gear and get down to your county clerk's office, pronto. Some states require that both of you apply in person for the license; other states require one of you. Remember to bring cash (many localities will not accept checks or credit cards) and if you live in one of the few states that still require a blood test (the vast majority have done away with it), be prepared for that, also. Don't lose the license once it's in your possession. Don't forget to bring the license to the rehearsal or the wedding. (Whichever event your officiant prefers.) This is your proof that both of you are legally willing and able to be married, and without it ... you're up a creek. After it's been signed by the officiant and your witnesses, it will be sent back to the county clerk to be recorded. You are now officially husband and wife, in the eyes of your state.
Your Tux
The week before your wedding, pop into the tux shop and double-check that they have the right information on file. Don't take an employee's word for it; ask him or her to point out to you which tux they have you down for (hopefully, you'll remember which one you chose), and how many they'll have ready for pickup.
If you're planning on having six guys wear tuxedos and the shop only has five in their computer, something's amiss. They've either misplaced someone's measurements or one of your pals hasn't been measured yet. (What he's waiting for is anyone's guess.) Don't fret -- yet. This is exactly the reason why you're doing this last-minute check.
Unfortunately, you'll probably be instructed to pick up your tux the night before the wedding -- or possibly two nights before. This doesn't do much for alleviating your stress; a groom's gotta do what a groom's gotta do.
Even though the tux shop might be in a total frenzy (especially if you're getting married in the summer months -- you'll be competing for space with a bevy of other grooms), remember that the tux shop employees are there for you -- even if they don't seem particularly happy about it at the moment.
In summary:
- Don't wait until the last minute. If you can pick up your tux two days before the wedding, do it. If there are any problems (missing accessories, alterations), you're giving the shop ample time to fix them.
- Try on the tux, the tie, the vest, the shoes. When you leave, make sure you have everything.
- Encourage your groomsmen to follow your lead in trying on their ensembles. Make sure your linebacker brother isn't trying to squeeze himself into a pair of high-water pants.
- If alterations are necessary, don't sweat it too much. Hopefully you've chosen a shop with a tailor on duty, and minor repairs are a snap for these professionals.
- If something feels (or looks) too loose or too tight, speak up. You don't want your pants falling down when you're dancing with your new mother-in-law.
- Make sure you know when the tuxes must be returned. The fee for renting them an extra day is something you and your men want to avoid.
- This is also a good time to touch base with your best man (or your brother, or whomever you trust with the task) and arrange to have him return your tux for you, as you will be busy doing other things the morning after your wedding.
Your Grooming
Everyone knows that you shouldn't get a haircut the day before a big event -- and especially not on the day before your wedding. You know how long it takes your hair to settle down before it gets in its groove -- for most men, it's about two weeks between the cut and the look.
If you want to go all-out and try a manicure or pedicure, this is as good a time as any to treat yourself to one or both. Beware trying out a new facial scrub or mask-type treatment in the days before the wedding, though; a bad reaction could leave you swollen and embarrassed.
Wedding Eve
You've picked up your tux, you've practiced the ceremony, you've had the rehearsal dinner ... now what? You know it's not a good idea to get loaded on the night before your wedding, even if you're feeling extremely nervous -- or giddy. Still, you've got eighteen hours to fill between now and the ceremony.
Take the time to touch base with your fiancee tonight. As the wedding countdown draws to a close, the two of you may find that you've been so crazy busy, you've hardly had time to speak to each other. Now's the time to make sure both of you are completely physically prepared for the big day, and for the honeymoon. For example, has she gone to the drugstore and picked up all of her necessities? Have you? Time's a-wastin'. Before you know it, you'll be on the plane to Hawaii, you'll remember that you're out of contact solution, and you'll curse yourself.
If your bride has the jitters, there may not be much that you can do to settle her down. Some brides lose it in a fit of tears and nervous energy the night before the wedding. Even if you can't stop her emotional roller-coaster ride, you can offer her your support and remind her that you can't wait to be her husband. Sometimes just being there is all you need to do.
Make some memories now -- hold hands, talk about the future, or just cuddle up and sit quietly. Tomorrow (and tomorrow and tomorrow) is waiting for you.
The Checklist
Below is a checklist of things to do and things to locate before the ceremony:
- Marriage license
- Your tux, shoes, accessories
- Haircut, pedicure, etc
- Rings
- The officiant's fee
- The rehearsal
- The gift for your bride
- Your airline tickets and passports (locate)
- Reservations (confirm)
- Cash for emergencies
- House sitter/Dog to the kennel/Mail stopped
- Arrangements for tux return
Get all these things right and you're ready for the arrival of the Big Day at long last.
Excerpts: From The Everything Groom Book by Shelly Hagen. © 2004 F+W Publications, Inc. Used by permission of Adams Media.