by Kate Chynoweth

Want to give a memorable, heartfelt speech for the happy couple? Don't know where to start? Afraid you might trip on your way to the microphone? Fear not. In The Bridesmaid Guide: Etiquette, Parties and Being Fabulous, Kate Chynoweth gives solid advice on how to calm your nerves and come up with the perfect words to honor your friend on her big day -- even if you have never given a speech in your life.

Think of it this way: that wedding crowd will applaud no matter what you say. OK, your toast should definitely honor the bride and groom -- but the point is that you shouldn't feel compelled to be supremely witty, romantic, clever, poetic, or anything else that doesn't come naturally. Keeping your voice steady and standing up straight (without fidgeting) in front of a crowd is difficult enough, but it gets even harder if you don't feel totally comfortable with the content of your speech. Being confident is arguably the most important part of public speaking -- so if you enjoy being funny, by all means be funny, but if you want to be serious, that's fabulous, too.

If you are the maid of honor, you may give a speech at the rehearsal dinner and at the wedding reception. The bride will usually give you advance warning if she expects you to speak at the reception. Bridesmaids who wish to make a toast generally do so at the rehearsal dinner, although, depending on the bride's wishes and the reception schedule, they may also do so at the wedding.

Making a wonderful, touching, and entertaining toast takes work. Speaking on the spur of the moment may sound great during those weeks of procrastination before the wedding, but the stress you'll experience as the time gets closer just isn't worth it. Besides, speeches given without some advance preparation often seem to ramble. The best way to alleviate your anxiety is to brainstorm ideas early and practice in private. Follow these practical tips to deliver an unforgettable toast.

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