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  • Contextualize your connection to the bride without getting into boring details, mention how long you've known her, how you met, and some significant detail of your friendship.

  • Touch on why you love her so much, what makes her special, and why you feel honored to be speaking at her wedding.

  • Compliment the groom. If you know him well, this should be easy. If you don't know him well, focus on his accomplishments: "Leave it to Stacy to find a man who went to culinary school, can fix any problem on a car, and serenades her with his guitar at night." You can also talk about the way he makes her happy. If you're at a loss, ask the bride for her ideas -- and at least a couple of them should be tame enough for family to hear.

  • Wish them a long and happy life together.

  • Be heartfelt but not long-winded.

  • Do some research. If you can't find the right words, find a poem or quote that expresses your feelings.

  • Don't fidget. Hold the microphone with one hand and keep the other one at your side, until it is time to pick up your glass to toast the couple.

  • Visualize the situation in advance. Will you be speaking to forty people or four hundred? Will you be standing on a stage with a microphone or speaking from your assigned table? Having a good idea of the particulars will help you avoid bridesmaid-in-the-headlights syndrome. Don't worry about memorizing every last word of the speech -- using notes is perfectly acceptable as long as you also make eye contact with the crowd.

  • Try not to denigrate your speech by making negative comments about it afterward, even if your voice was shaking or you forgot part of it and ad-libbed badly. The point is not to draw attention to yourself, but to celebrate your friend, the bride, by always trying your best.

  • Since rehearsal dinners are generally more intimate and casual than weddings, bridesmaids sometimes take the opportunity to do something more elaborate than a toast, such as getting together to perform a hilarious skit, or giving a slide show of the bride and groom as kids. Be sure the hosts are amenable before you plan something creative.

  • How to Avoid Feeling Humiliated about Your Speech: It is very likely that your speech will be recorded on the wedding videotape -- and as one of the bride's closest friends, you will have to watch her wedding eventually. Many bridesmaids describe the speech-viewing experience as excruciating! Unless you're looking to become a serious toastmaster and want tips on improving your performance, or you feel absolutely fine about watching yourself in the act of public speaking, you might try to avoid this unfortunate event. Rather than squirming on the bride's sofa, simply excuse yourself to refresh your drink or visit the bathroom when you sense the moment of doom approaching. The other option? Stick around and have a hearty laugh at your own expense.

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