Having trouble picking the perfect bridesmaid dress for your bridesmaids? Not sure if the junior bridesmaid's dress should match the bridesmaids or flower girl's dress? Have you had a falling out with one of your bridesmaids and think you should fire her? Below are the answers to your bridesmaid dress and etiquette questions:
Q. The bridesmaid dress I like is sleeveless and my dress is not. All four of my bridesmaids said they would feel comfortable in a sleeveless dress, and the two maids who tried it on really liked it, but I'm concerned that I'm violating some rule of etiquette. How closely do the bridesmaid dresses have to match the bride's gown?
A. Not so much that this should be an issue. Generally, bridesmaids should wear a dress that matches the formality of the bride's dress -- and that usually means in length. So if your dress is floor-length and this one is, too, you're pretty much fine. You just don't want to put your maids in casual sundresses when you're wearing a big, formal gown, for example. But as far as the actual dress style and details (neckline, sleeves, etc.), they don't have to match exactly. If your maids like this dress, go for it!
Q. What is appropriate attire for a junior bridesmaid (age 12)? Should she wear a dress that matches the older bridesmaids' or one that matches the flower girl's?
A. Junior bridesmaids generally dress in something similar to the bridesmaids rather than the flower girl. Since she's 12 (almost a teenager), she's not going to want to match some little kid! You don't have to put her in exactly the same dress as the other women -- depending on what they're wearing, it may not be age-appropriate -- but she should wear a dress in the same or a similar color and of the same length (i.e., if they're wearing floor-length gowns, she should, too).
Q. My wedding isn't for a while, however, one of my bridesmaids betrayed my trust. When I confronted her, her attitude upset me. My fiance thinks that we should ask her to leave the wedding party. I'm torn. How does one remove a bridesmaid politely?
A. There's no polite way to take back the question, "Will you be in my wedding party?" In this case, however, it doesn't sound like she was very polite to you either! If you're reluctant to remove her from the wedding party because she is a friend you've been close to for a while -- despite what happened -- talk to her again about this issue. Let her know that it hurt you that she betrayed your trust, and her attitude when you confronted her hurt you even more. Talk to her about it and make sure you're both clear about what's going on, and then make a decision. If you must part ways, do so gently. Good luck!
-- The Knot
Photo: Abigail Seymour Photography/The Knot
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