Being a bridesmaid is one expensive honor. But ideally, the bride and her bridesmaid will work together to make the wedding a budget-friendly affair. Here's a rundown of how much you can expect to spend on various bridesmaid essentials, with money-saving tactics to ease the pain. (Don't panic! The numbers are high estimates.)
The Dress
What you spend on the bridesmaid dress could be your major expense -- if you don't have to travel too far to the wedding. You'll want to put aside about $300, which is generally what the average bridesmaid dress costs. But remember to account for alterations, which may tack on an extra $50 or more.
Ways to Save:
- Two-piece bridesmaid dresses are very hot. Why? No alterations. You can mix and match sizes, just as you might when shopping for a bikini, which makes for a more accurate fit. Nicole Miller offers a variety of two-piece looks.
- Many bridal salons will give discounts on bridesmaid dresses if the bride gets her gown there too -- make sure your bride asks the salon about this.
- Ready-to-wear dresses (e.g., you all go to BCBG or J. Crew and pick a cute dress off the rack) may save you cash because you probably won't need alterations. Also, you can take the dress home the same day, which means less hassle for everyone.
- If the bride leaves it up to you to decide what to wear, bargain hunt at sample sales, end-of-season sales, and off-price stores. Or consider borrowing a dress or wearing something you already own.
Lingerie
Hopefully you won't need anything special, but some dresses require a strapless bra, seamless panties, a certain kind of slip, or other undergarment. Put aside at least $50 for this, just in case. Don't forget hose, which you really shouldn't pay more than $10 for.
Ways to Save:
- Find a friend with your same measurements who has the girdle/half slip/bustier in question and borrow it.
- Gush over dresses you can wear a regular bra with.
- Suggest not wearing hose if it's a summer wedding.
Shoes
Most brides will choose a pair of reasonably priced shoes (or even dyeables) for the maids to wear or let you pick out your own. We're talking $50-80.
Ways to Save:
- Guide the bride (gently) to let you pick your own shoes so you can scour sample sales.
- Hope that the bride tells you black heels or strappy sandals are perfect and wear some you already own (but get them cleaned up).
- Is the bride marrying outdoors? Discuss going barefoot. It might make for a clever, dressed-down fashion statement.
- If you have a pair of dyeable shoes from a previous wedding, you may be able to get them redyed if you now need them in a color that's darker than the last one.
Jewelry & Accessories
You may get the requisite wedding-day jewels as a bridesmaid gift from the bride. If she does ask you to coordinate accessories -- like earrings, bracelets, purse, barrette, wrap -- the least you can expect to spend is approximately $60.
Ways to Save:
- If she wants you to get a purse, convince her that a dyeable one is best. You can have it redyed black later for an instant evening bag.
- Investigate your or your mom's jewelry box carefully -- you may be fortunate enough to already own the type of jewelry needed.
- Be minimal chic. Agree as a group to not wear any jewelry at all -- you'll have a very uniform, streamlined, polished look going. Let your outer glow speak for itself -- you don't need all that glitz and glitter to shine.
Hair & Makeup
Your bride might schedule a group hair and makeup appointment for the morning of the wedding. This may be optional, so speak with her about your preferences. If it turns out you can't get out of it, you'll probably want to set aside at least $100 for a hairstyle, makeup application, manicure, and tip. Keep an extra $50 in your pocket if you're in a big city.
Ways to Save:
- Do your own hair and makeup. Or plan with the other bridesmaids to do each other's. Read the do-it-yourself articles at TheKnot.com for at-home manicure, pedicure, and beauty night ideas.
Travel
How much you spend on a round-trip plane/train/bus ticket can vary from $50 to $600. If you have to travel for the shower as well, make it double. Other expenses to consider: A rental car while in town ($20-$150 a day, depending on where you are and whether it's a high car-demand holiday weekend, plus gas), cab fares if the wedding is in a city and/or for the bachelorette party (say $20).
Ways to Save:
- Save up and use your frequent-flyer miles.
- Make your plans as early as possible to get the best fares.
- Check out the discounted air fare situation on the Internet.
- Beg off on the bachelorette if you must. If you just can't swing another trip, the bride should understand; she knew you were long-distance when she asked you to be in the wedding.
- Maybe host the bachelorette party and shower within the same weekend. This will cut down travel expenses.
- Share a rental car with another bridesmaid, or carpool, splitting what it costs for gas. You may even want to call the alumni association at the college you went to -- they often have special alumni deals that you can take advantage of. Of your company may be able to secure you a slightly discounted rate if you hire their affiliate car service.
Accommodations
Chances are, your participation in the wedding will require that you shack up in a hotel room for a couple of nights. Hopefully the bride and her beloved have reserved a block of rooms at the hotel where the reception will be (or somewhere convenient to the reception site) at a reduced rate. Even so, expect to pay $100-$200 a night, depending on where you are. Also consider that you'll want to tip people like porters and maids. Another $30 at least.
Ways to Save:
- See if you can produce a local friend or relative to stay with instead. (Be sure to set aside $25-$50 for the thank-you gift you should present in return for the hospitality.)
- If you don't know anyone in town, or the couple insists that the wedding party all stay in the hotel, try to double up with another cost-conscious attendant (or guest!).
- If the rate's just too high for you, do some research to find a nearby hotel with a lower rate.
Parties
Hopefully you'll spend more time than money on the shower, but still, some maids of honor will request $50-$100 from each maid to cover the shower expenses. There's also the bachelorette party -- dinner, drinks, a club, a comedy show, a day at a spa; whatever it is, your share will probably come to between $50-$200.
Ways to Save:
- Forget the high-tea-at-a-fancy-hotel idea and have a low-key, at-home shower, for which moms, relatives, friends, and maids do the decorations, make the favors, and cook all the food.
- Have a slumber-party bachelorette soiree, for which the major expenses are beer, pizza, microwave popcorn, and a video.
Gifts
Your time and effort doesn't count. Think $25-75 for the shower and $50-150 for the wedding present.
Ways to Save:
- Consider going in on a big group present from all the bridesmaids.
- You can't put a price tag on handmade gifts. Quilts, afghans, pottery: these gifts are from the heart and are worth so much more to the bride.
-- The Knot
Photo: Tony Gajate Photography/The Knot
RELATED LINK: Get a bridal shower planning checklist!