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The Etiquette of Shower Gifts While the opening of the presents is usually the high point of the shower, the real purpose is to assemble good friends to celebrate the upcoming marriage. Here are some gift guidelines to keep in mind:

  • In general, shower gifts should be relatively inexpensive. Homemade gifts, such as a collection of recipes, are perfectly okay.


  • Shower guests can purchase gifts from the wedding registry if they choose. While you shouldn't include registry information on the invitation, it's fine to enclose it on a separate sheet. The host can also make recommendations to people who ask for gift suggestions.


  • Some showers focus on a specific theme, such as kitchen showers (glasses, knives, utensils, etc.), cooking showers (gourmet foods and wines, cookbooks), spa showers (massage certificates, aromatherapy oils, candles), and lingerie showers. Any shower theme should be noted on the invitation. For lingerie showers, include the bride's sizes as well.


  • Gifts are generally opened after refreshments have been served. The guests gather around while the bride (or couple) opens the packages one by one and thanks the giver. The gifts are then typically passed around the room so that everyone can see them.


  • The bride (or couple) should give the host a thank-you gift--then follow up with a note.


  • The bride (or couple) should send thank-you notes to all shower guests-- lose a even if they've already been thanked in person at the shower. As a mom, you can help the couple out by keeping track of who gives what.

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