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You say, "Oh yes, isn't it amazing? Pam actually baked and decorated it herself. Can you believe how great she did?" Smiling at Pam, you introduce her to Gertrude if they don't know one another.

You are now the greatest hostess in the world. See? They both think you are gracious and charming and charitable. (OK, now you can go back to your regular name.)

People love, love, love praise. People are like big dogs that like to be scratched behind the ears. Period. Even people who are shy. Really. Try it. They'll feel all warm and fuzzy inside from your kindness and your grateful acknowledgement of their contribution to your successful party. Plus, you will look totally gracious and like the perfect hostess. Oh yes, and send a sweet, short thank-you note after the shower, too. That's classy.


Countdown to the Party!

Six Weeks Before:

  • Determine your budget.
  • Select location, date, and time.
  • Decide on theme.
  • Get list of possible attendees' addresses from bride.
  • Go buy party goods or at least invitations, unless you make them by hand.

One Month Before:

  • Input names and addresses into your computer.
  • Mail invitations to your potential attendees.
  • Order the cake.
  • Select a menu.
  • Hire a caterer.

Two Weeks Before:

  • Make first RSVP calls to stragglers.
  • Start buying nonperishable food items.
  • Buy the last-minute decorations.
  • Call a local maid service.

One Week Before:

  • Confirm the cake.
  • Confirm the caterer.
  • Confirm the room.
  • Make last RSVP calls.
  • Make the party favors.
  • Call to confirm the schedule with any entertainers you have hired.

The Day Before:

  • Hang the decorations (but not paper streamers!).
  • Make the ice flower bouquets.
  • Prepare advance food.
  • Do any baking.
  • Buy any perishable grocery items.
  • Make sure you have at least three rolls of film and good flash batteries.
  • Make sure you have spare light bulbs.
  • Set up any games you will be playing.

The Morning Of:

  • Frost the cake and refrigerate it when you're done.
  • Get out every single serving utensil you will use and lay them out.
  • Set the tables, including the gift table.
  • Wash a head of romaine lettuce to garnish trays.

Two Hours Before:

  • Arrange, pick up, or have the flowers delivered.
  • Finish the decorating.
  • Finish the major cooking.
  • Put two or three stems of flowers in a bud vase in your bathroom.
  • Put a pad and pen on the chair of the person who will sit to the bride's right during gift opening.
  • Clean the litter box, spray air freshener.

One Hour Before:

  • Make sure your bathroom is sparkling clean.
  • Put an extra roll of toilet paper in an obvious but discreet place.
  • Go put on a nice outfit and do your makeup again.

Fifteen Minutes Before:

  • Add ice to the punch.
  • Put the cake on the table.
  • Light the candles.
  • Straighten up your kitchen.
  • Turn on the music -- unless you hired somebody.
  • Put Kitty or Rover away so they don't get scared by guests or cause any problems.

Minding the Phone

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