The wedding rehearsal is the dress rehearsal for the wedding ceremony. It's a chance for the officiant to explain to everyone in the bridal party what will happen during the ceremony and the bride and groom will finalize the processional order. The night of the rehearsal the groom's family will traditionally host the rehearsal dinner. To make sure that the groom knows what to expect and what his responsibilities are at the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner,
The Rehearsal
Everyone's chitchatting in their places, the priest is in his street clothes, your nephew is running willy-nilly through the church ... what kind of rehearsal is this? This isn't the wedding you've planned and imagined. Will things be so casual and disorganized tomorrow?! No. Think of this as a relaxed run-through. When tomorrow comes, you'll be able to feel the excitement in the air.
At the Church
Most churches have a scheduled time for rehearsals. What happens during your block of time? A mock wedding, basically. If you have a wedding consultant or if the church has a wed-ding coordinator (many larger churches do, just to keep things moving along as they should -- and your paid coordinator may have to defer to any rules the church has), she will instruct the bridesmaids on where to stand, how slowly they should proceed down the aisle, whether or not they'll be escorted by a groomsman -- that sort of thing.
She will do the same for everyone who has a part to play -- your mother, your mother-in-law, your groomsmen, anyone who's reading during the ceremony (or bringing gifts to the altar). She'll have special instructions for the maid of honor and the best man, and most especially for your bride. (And by the way, if your church doesn't have a coordinator, and you haven't hired a planner, your minister will lead you through the rehearsal.)
You'll stand at the altar in the now eerily quiet church and watch as your bride and her father walk toward you. She'll be wearing a dress you've seen a hundred times before and you'll be moved to the point of ... not tears, exactly. But this is when it will hit you: You're getting married the next day, and you'll wish tomorrow were right now.
So, you'll run through the ceremony in its shortened form -- how the exchange of rings will go, who should be doing what (the maid of honor will take the bride's flowers and straighten her train, for example). Before you know it, you've been fake-married by your own priest, and you're out the door.
Nowhere to Rehearse?
If you're going to say your vows in a restaurant or a banquet facility that's swamped with other ceremonies, you may not have access to the location the night (or even several nights) before the ceremony. Are you to show up at the ceremony without knowing where you'll stand and just play things by ear?
Nah. Take matters into your own hands and get creative. Host your rehearsal dinner somewhere where you and your almost-bride will be able to put everyone in their places, so to speak.
Having everyone to your home is a good idea. You can lay out the area for your attendants, discuss the floor plan of your wedding site, and take charge of your own run-through of the ceremony.
Things you shouldn't overlook:
- Will the groomsmen escort the bridesmaids down the aisle, or meet them halfway? Partner your attendants up now, so no one is confused as to whom they should be walking with the following day.
- When should the first bridesmaid begin her trek down the aisle, and how slowly should she walk?
- Upon arriving at the aisle, where should the attendants stand/sit? Will all of them stay at the altar, or will only your honor attendants remain at your sides? Will the best man be holding the rings? The maid of honor should prepare herself now for her special duties (holding the bride's flowers and fixing her dress).
- It's customary for the bride and groom to leave the altar first, followed by their attendants in pairs. Do a run-through of this, too, so that your best man and maid of honor don't jump the gun and steal your thunder.
Rub-a-Dub-Dub, Where's the Grub?
You'll invite the wedding party, their significant others, immediate family members, your officiant, and his or her spouse. If you want to extend an invitation to out-of-town guests, they'll surely appreciate your thoughtfulness.
Remember, this is your gig. You are not bound by any sort of wedding covenant to host an elaborate affair, though that's perfectly acceptable. Your rehearsal dinner can be a cookout or a pizza party; it can be a sit-down affair in a nice restaurant or a catered event in your aunt's spacious backyard.
This is the time for you and your bride to present your gifts to your attendants and your mothers (and whomever else you're feeling particularly generous toward).
Excerpts: From The Everything Groom Book by Shelly Hagen. © 2004 F+W Publications, Inc. Used by permission of Adams Media.