--smorgano
our experts say:
Dear Smorgano,We're so sorry to hear about your problem. It must be very hard to watch your daughter deal with such emotional anguish, especially during what should be such a happy time for the entire family. Clearly, she is having a difficult time and needs some help. If you feel you cannot help her, we suggest you arrange for her to talk one-on-one with either the clergy person who is officiating her ceremony or with a professional counselor. You may also want to consider family counseling, if you feel that your children have issues to work out that go beyond this one incident.
Now then, about your son: We must say, it wasn't very nice of him to do what he did. In such cases, we definitely feel that the sibling who gets engaged first should have the privilege of being married first, unless he or she chooses to have an especially long engagement. But let's assume that your son acted innocently, without any malicious intent. Do you think he knows how much he hurt his sister by scheduling his wedding before hers? While it may be too late to change the wedding dates, your daughter needs to know if, in fact, his actions were innocent. We suggest that he find the time to explain himself and offer a sincere apology for hurting her (even if he didn't mean to). If she isn't open to a face-to-face discussion, your son may have better luck writing his sister a letter. An apology could be just the ticket for reestablishing goodwill between siblings. It would also help the healing process, and enable your son and daughter to get past this issue.
We hope this helps,
The Wedding Women
3825 member responses
members say:
The response by the experts here is ridiculous. People have a right to get married whenever they want. It's not like he chose a date that interferes with her date. Little sister needs to get over herself and realize it doesn't matter. Her wedding will still be awesome.
--Posted by Sarah, Toledo, OH
Wait, what?! The person who gets engaged first automatically gets to get married first? So the second-engaged sibling has to wait it out until the first picks a date, no matter how long that may take? Nonsense. If she was this worried about it, she should have set a date and gotten on it with the planning. The brother's wedding is just as important as hers, and they made that clear by getting on with their plans. Not to mention the fact that you get one day for your wedding- you do NOT get to hijack other days, too.
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