by Eileen Livers and Monica Bernstein

Q

Some of our guests will want to smoke at our wedding, but I don't want the cigarette smoke to bother the nonsmokers. What can I do? --iVillager sharn5



A

Dear Sharn:

It's nice that you're trying to please all parties involved -- the smokers and the nonsmokers. Before you worry about how to control smoking at your celebration, check with your site manager about the rules. Smoking may not even be allowed at your venue. If it is, there are several ways to handle this issue. For starters, you could seat smokers and nonsmokers in separate sections, the way people are seated in restaurants. This works best when at least 25 percent of your guests will surely want to smoke during the party. If only a handful of guests will want to smoke, seating them apart from the rest of the crowd may make them feel like outcasts. If you would rather keep smoking out of the dining area altogether, ask the site manager whether there is a conveniently located side room or attractive outdoor space, such as a garden or patio, where smokers can enjoy a cigarette during the reception. If you think it's necessary, you can place printed note cards on each table directing guests to the smoking areas.

Still worried about how to curb smoking at your wedding without making guests feel like they're at the Great American Smoke-Out? Here are some helpful suggestions from iVillage brides dealing with the same dilemma:

  • "I'm a smoker, and a quick, easy answer is to tell your reception site not to put ashtrays on the tables (less effective for an outside wedding). If I am at a function such as a wedding, and there are no ashtrays on the tables, I assume that my hosts prefer no smoking, so I'll go outside to have a puff when I want one. It certainly doesn't offend me. I realize smoke in the air is unpleasant for most people." --iVillager thelittleb
  • "Our reception is at the house we just bought. Smoking is not allowed in our house, but smokers are welcome to go into the backyard. Really, I know very few people who smoke, but I would have no problem asking them to please step outside." --iVillager amymarieb
  • "Most of the young people who smoke will go outside, but I will not post a sign that makes my 75-year-old uncle or my parents' friend feel they must hide outside like teenagers. There will be so few smokers in such a large hall (with doors and windows open) that I am not worried." --iVillager moira27
  • "We don't expect many smokers, but my reception room has a terrace all along one side that we're decorating with white lights so that smokers can go out there if they want to smoke." --iVillager ivy68