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"My fiance's kids will participate in our wedding day, which is during his ex's custody week. He thinks we have to invite her, but our mutual friends and his family don't want to see her again. Should we invite her? And, if so, is there a way to invite her and make her not want to come?" --from iVillager germjunkie
Dear germjunkie:
There's no reason to invite your fiance's ex unless it's important for him or the kids that she be there, and her presence is acceptable to you. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks of her.
The fact that your wedding occurs during her custody week shouldn't have any bearing on whether you invite her. In fact, if that's the only reason you're inviting her, we suggest your fiance ask her if she'd be willing to reschedule her custody week just this once, or postpone the beginning of week with the children to the day after your wedding. That's an easy way to end his discomfort about not inviting her.
Of course, if this woman will continue to play an active role in your post-wedding family life as the mother of your fiance's children, then it may be a nice gesture of goodwill to invite her. The bottom line: Do what feels right to the two of you. Don't invite her unless you truly want her to attend, and don't worry about what the guests or your fiance's family think.
Hope this helps,
The Wedding Women
Are you planning a second wedding? Find out how to include your children -- or his -- in your wedding.
Should you invite your ex? See the Wedding Women's solutions.
Take the Wedding Women's advice on Seating Divorced Parents at the Ceremony
Want more advice from the Wedding Women? Ask your own questions on their message board, and see more of their expert advice here.
