No matter how carefully you manage it, the guest list tends to grow and grow. Cousins you've never met, co-workers of your parents - everyone wants to celebrate with you. In order to ensure that your guest list doesn't grow beyond your financial and space limits, follow these three steps from the Fifth Edition of Emily Post's Wedding Etiquette.
- Realize that you have choices to make. Do you want to plan your guest list and reception around a budget or make a guest list first and plan the reception around that? Either way, you will likely find that your list will require some fine-tuning.
- Remember: It's your wedding. Don't automatically agree that cousins you've never met or Mom's office colleagues take precedence over your own good friends. Think and talk it through--calmly. You might end up inviting the cousins, but you'll be more understanding and less resentful if you agree it's the way to go.
- Don't opt for the easy solution. Inviting a large number of guests to the ceremony but only a small number to the reception is no solution at all. It would be insulting to send a formal ceremony invitation to many and a reception invitation to a favored few. Two exceptions: You may invite children, or your entire congregation, to the ceremony only. (For example, an open invitation to the ceremony issued to congregation members by the officiant, with your permission, carries no gift obligation for those who attend--nor any obligation to the bride and groom to invite them to the reception.) The reverse--inviting a small number of guests to an intimate or private ceremony and a larger number to the reception--is perfectly acceptable, too. The key: Carefully think through any variables in numbers of ceremony and reception guests.
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