I have a coworker who has been in our office for 6 months. She has invited all the women in our office to her shower, and the entire office to her wedding. We know each other, but not well. Also, she has given notice that she is quitting two weeks before her wedding.
Nobody in the office is going to either the shower or the wedding, and decided not to send any gifts either.
Should I be the nice guy and go to the wedding two hours away? Should I skip both the shower and wedding but give her a gift for both?
--sillygrrl2003
It sounds like the bride is trying to inflate her guest list with all the office invitations, and your co-workers are completely within their rights to not attend the wedding and not give gifts. They don't know her well, after all, and it's an etiquette rule that you don't have to send a gift when you don't attend a wedding or shower (although some people choose to on their own).
Here's what I suggest...you don't have to attend the shower or the wedding (especially if it's two hours away)! But since you have gotten to know her a little bit over the past six months you can give her a card and a small gift such as a gift card for her registry that will serve as both a shower and wedding gift. Your card might read, "Wishing you and (her fiance's name) every happiness. Congratulations on your wedding." You'll be much happier if you do something, it seems, and this is the best etiquette-friendly approach.
--Sharon Naylor
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