When you take the microphone to make a toast at a wedding, all eyes are on you and everything you say becomes immortalized in the wedding video, not to mention in the minds of everyone there. Not too much pressure, right? We'd like to remind you of the top 5 etiquette mistakes that are all-too-often made with wedding toasts, because we don't want you to be that person who brought the wedding to a screeching halt. You know that you shouldn't toast while drunk. Here are the other top Don'ts:
1. Don't talk forever. Long and rambling toasts have no place at a wedding, and when you pass 'annoying,' you get to 'self-centered.' Everyone there will think you just want to hear yourself talk. So keep your toasts to the 2-minute range, and know ahead of time that you can make toasts at other pre-wedding parties like showers and bachelor or bachelorette parties, etc. For the Big Day, a toast should be short, sweet and sentimental (and a little bit funny if you are).
2. Telling inappropriate stories. Yes, we all know the bride and groom have a past, but it's supremely bad form to bring it up either directly or in code now. The bride will know what you're talking about when you mention that wild Spring Break. Keep the focus on the here and now. The raunchy stuff has no place at a wedding.
3. Using off-color language. Not only are there kids and elders in the room, it just makes you sound classless when you drop off-color language. It may be your natural way of speaking, but clean it up for the day. And know that in some families, their version of a curse word may be different from yours. So even the tame ones should be off-limits.
4. Not mentioning both the bride and groom. If you're the best man, for instance, you can talk about what a great guy the groom is, but also talk about how much you like the bride and what she's brought into the groom's life. A one-way toast doesn't honor them as a couple, so be sure you talk about both of them.
5. Poaching the toast. This is a bad one. If you're at the rehearsal dinner, the parents of the groom make the first toast if they're the hosts. It's a bad, bad breach of etiquette to steal their spotlight and act like it's your party. Wait for the host to make his or her speech, then the couple makes a toast to thank their bridal party, and then others can speak.
Sharon Naylor is the author of The Essential Guide to Wedding Etiquette. Ask Sharon your etiquette questions on iVillage Wedding's Ask the Etiquette Expert message board. 