by Sharon Naylor (see more from this expert)

The size of your wedding guest list determines the kind of wedding you'll have, where you'll have it, and just about every other detail beyond the basics (how many invitations you'll need, your menu, number of favors). The Essential Guide to Wedding Etiquette will help you define your wished-for size of wedding so that you can inform parents about parameters, and answer your questions on guest list do's and don'ts.

To get started, you need to define the size of the guest list you want:

  • Small: Under 50 guests
  • Medium: 50 to 100 guests
  • Average: 100 to 150 guests (Note: the average guest list size in the country right now is 141 guests)
  • Large: 150 to 200 guests
  • Extra-Large: 200+ guests

Three Lists

As you begin the selection of your invited guests, you'll invite your parents to submit their guest wish lists. Use the term "wish list," since you will ultimately decide who makes the final cut. Yes, parents who are paying for all or part of the wedding might think otherwise, but it's ultimately your choice of who you want to share your day with. Parents should of course be given the chance to invite some of their closest friends, but as a matter of honor to you, they should never be invited in place of your friends.

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