My wedding is in four months, and both my fiance and I are suffering from the dreaded "pre-wedding jitters." It's not that we're stressed over wedding details; it's that we sometimes find ourselves blowing up at each other. Sometimes I wonder whether he is right for me or whether I am going to make a good wife. He is wondering the same types of things. Is this normal? I want to sit down and talk with him about my concerns, but I don't want him to feel that I want to postpone the wedding. I just want to get these feelings out on the table so I can feel good when I walk down the aisle. --jennyanne_72

our experts say:

Dear Jenny:

One of the toughest aspects of being engaged is bickering with your beloved. On top of all the wedding planning stress (you may not realize that's where some of your anxieties are coming from, but we'll bet that's part of it), you're about to make a lifelong commitment to each other. No matter how much you love each other, it's normal to be nervous about taking this enormous step. And it's normal for small disagreements or a bad day at work to lead to snappish behavior or even an all-out "I can't believe I agreed to marry you!" screaming match. Although that isn't fun, it is part of the pre-wedding process for many couples.

Don't be afraid to sit your fiance down for a talk. If you're worried he'll think this means you want to postpone, be sure to tell him that you don't right off the bat. Also start by telling him how much you love him and look forward to your future together. But do get your thoughts and feelings out. Good communication is the cornerstone of a happy marriage, and there's no better time than now to start practicing that skill. If your fiance is feeling the same way you are, as you say, we're sure he'll be relieved you brought it all up.

Also, know that marriage does take some getting used to. You and your fiance may not feel newlywed bliss after your wedding; instead, you may feel nervous and inexperienced. That's normal, too. But don't worry, you can learn together how to be good spouses to each other. We're sure you'll do just fine!

We hope this helps,
The Wedding Women



92 member responses

members say:


Bride with no smile
what is going on with me??? ive been with him for four years, he proposes, and now the wedding is a month and a half away.. and i dont think i can go thru with it. he's in another country in the service, so i have to go with him and leave my family, friends, everything. i didnt think this could ever be so hard. can someone help me? I'm unhappy and i cant smile. i dont think this is what i am supposed to be getting out of life. the first 6 months of being engaged was bliss... i guess we shoulda had a shorter engagement with less time to think. someone help=( i want to smile again!!!!
--Posted by Lissa, CO


Jitters are hitting...
Our wedding is 5 months away as of Christmas Eve. I think I'm scared, heck I know I'm scared. Not because of who I'm marrying but because of the huge change it's making in my life. We have a huge move ahead (me moving from Canada to the US), and I'm afraid the paperwork won't go through and we'll be stuck without me having a job for more then the time they say (they being the lawyers). This is our biggest worry...I found the most amazing man right under my nose. I just hope this is the only bump. I know I can't live without him. I feel so very alive when he's with me. Life is definitely complete when he's around :)
--Posted by Jennifer , Calgary, Alberta
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