Kjgens:

Tell your groom how long you've dreamed of your wedding day the same way you explained it us. He'll understand how much it means to you. The thing is, just because he understands doesn't mean he will buy into your fantasy 100 percent. In fact, it's his prerogative not to. After all, you and your groom are going to be a team in this marriage and, as you probably already know, compromise is key to making love last.

Assuming he doesn't submit to your initial appeal, you'll need a game plan. Nagging him until he gives in makes no sense, since you want him to feel good about your wedding festivities, too. Instead, make a "wish" list of all the things you want to have on your wedding day (three-tiered cake, big white dress, whatever); list things by priority -- from most important to least. Ask him to do the same.

Then, swap lists and separate for a few minutes so you're not looking over each other's shoulders. Each of you cross off the things you can't live with. Negotiate over the rest. Once you see it all on paper in front of you, it'll be easier to discuss things. Try to find things you CAN agree on (write them down on a fresh piece of paper as a tangible reminder you're making progress) before you start grappling over things you CAN'T. Keep going this way until you've outlined a wedding plan you can both be proud of.

If you really can't come to a settlement, dream up a third wedding-day option that you hadn't previously thought of. One couple in a similar situation decided to get married in an intimate, beachside ceremony at their honeymoon destination. Then, when they got home, they held a dinner for 100 at a local hall. They had a wedding cake, the bride wore a big white dress, they even showed their wedding-day video! This way they satisfied both their dreams. Good luck!