Dear Ms. Demeanor:
I have just begun dating (five weeks ago) a man whose daughter is getting married in one week, in a very sumptuous ceremony. I know where she is registered, and I have thought of sending a small but personal token gift. As I live across the country from this man, and we have a long-distance relationship (okay, we spend more time in the air than on the ground), I certainly do not expect to be invited to this affair. But I often err on the side of being overly generous. What do you think?
Michelle
Dear Michelle:
As long as the gift you send is indeed small and you're sending it with no strings attached whatsoever, do so. You might simply want to write her a note wishing her well in this new chapter of her life. I'd be concerned, however, that the dad would begin to feel cornered and possibly smothered. It's fair to tell you that the only time a gift is required is when you attend the reception. Many invited guests go by this etiquette guideline and forgo gifts when they cannot attend. Since your relationship with Dad is so new; and you barely have one with the bride, if at all, your motives may appear suspect. Only you can make that call. Good luck.
