by Carolyn Gerin and Stephanie Rosenbaum

Planning one of the most important days of your life is pressure enough -- even with the best professional help. You need to find florists, caterers and bandleaders who share your vision, respect your budget and treat you well. If you want to keep the hired professionals from pulling the wool over your eyes while planning your wedding, then read this excerpt of Anti-Bride Guide: Tying the Knot Outside of the Box. Here, the authors share warning signs you can use to avoid hiring incompetent help.

Be cautious if your florist, caterer, or bandleader matches any of the following descriptions:

  • He agrees with everything you say and insists that he can do everything exactly as you want it. Most smart pros know how to gently dissuade clients from impossible (or overtly expensive) schemes. Be wary of those who give you a blanket OK, especially if you know that your budget and your brilliant ideas don't exactly match.

  • She gets vague when it comes to dollars. Is the catering being charged by the head or by the platter? Does the band get a flat fee or a rate per hour? Those who won't answer these kind of questions may be planning to explain their suddenly exorbitant fees later by pointing out all the "extras" you agreed upon -- items you agreed to without knowing that they were actually in addition to the original calculations.

  • He stops returning your phone calls, faxes, or e-mails once the deposit's in.

  • She pulls a bait-and-switch. This can happen with florists, and sometimes it's not the florist's fault. The vagaries of nature (and greenhouses) being what they are, certain flowers just aren't available when they're needed. But a good florist will find you something similar in your price range -- not make you choose between dyed blue carnations and imported orchids.

  • He won't listen to your ideas, claiming, "I am the professional." The worst of these "professionals" will try to convince you that your taste, not theirs, is at fault and that, after all, they have a reputation to uphold. Your wedding is not their portfolio piece.

    Ultimately, you're paying: you should get what you want. If any wedding-service provider belittles you, rolls his eyes at your ideas, or makes you cry, tear up that check immediately. If you can't get out of a contract, play nice 'til the wedding's over, and then make word of mouth work for you. Call every bride-to-be you know and tell them exactly how you were treated, so they won't make the same mistake.

    Click here for another excerpt of the Anti-Bride Guide about how to get what you want for your wedding from hired professionals.